How to find a Thai wife
It’s no secret that the main reason why many men come to Thailand is to find a graceful Thai woman to be their wife. Although some people might find this idea a little cringe-worthy it is nonetheless a fact of life in Thailand. Once you’ve spent a little time here you learn that the situation is not as black and white as it seems from the west and many couples find genuine happiness in a Thai-Westerner marriage. Although we know plenty of happy Thai-Farang couples, the divide between East and West is not an easy one to bridge. A successful marriage between two people from such differing cultures takes hard work, patience and a strong commitment. This page is meant for those who seek a genuine partnership and mutual love and respect. If you’re interested in something more casual (and we’re not judging you if you are) we have plenty of pages than can help in that regard.
As with any serious life decision, a marriage to a Thai woman (or man) should be taken seriously and mindfully. Rushing off of the plane and into a partnership with the first person you meet is a good way to end up returning home alone, with your heart and bank account empty. And if you plan on taking your new found spouse back to your home with you, then you should be aware of how difficult the transition will be for them. It’s much easier for a foreigner to adjust to Thailand than it is for a Thai to adjust to your home country. Foreigners in Thailand can find all the comforts of home and rarely have a hard time meeting people who share their language and cultural outlook. For a Thai, on the other hand, the west can be a very scary and lonely place and will often lack the feeling of community that is such an important part of Thai life.
So where to start your quest for mister or missus right? It’s not in the bars and nightclubs of the tourist areas. But a lot of the girls in these places are prostitutes or out for money in some respect. She may be gorgeous and exotic but they’ll happily send you packing the moment the money runs dry. And don’t believe the sob stories about elderly grandfathers and sick family buffalos that need taking care of. Thai bar girls are professionals and they know what they’re doing.
The language barrier is another hurdle to overcome in a cross-cultural partnership. If you and your spouse have a hard time adequately communicating it will be very difficult to get through a trip to the market, much less establish a lasting bond.
Internet introductions are enjoying increasing legitimacy in the west and Thailand is firmly on that bandwagon. The internet allows many shy Thai women to feel more relaxed about meeting new people. Many Thais log on to websites and chat rooms to make friends with foreigners and the internet can be a great way to make some contacts before coming over. Be realistic, however, and realize that there is often a big difference between a chat room and reality. It’s a fine idea to set up a few meetings over the internet, but make sure that you keep from getting your hopes too high before a face to face meeting.
Dating agencies are numerous in Bangkok and are an expedient, if impersonal, road to the altar. If you feel a bit awkward ‘shopping’ for a wife in a catalogue then imagine how the girl must feel. Many of the ladies listed by the dating agencies are desperately trying to escape extreme poverty but many others are simply lonely professionals. Dating agencies are usually quite good at checking applicant’s backgrounds but use your own judgement regarding the information they give you.
As in the west, the best way to find a lifelong mate is by simply keeping your eyes open and being receptive to meeting new people. You could meet your perfect sweetheart anywhere. She could be the receptionist at your hotel, your bank teller or someone you randomly met at the mall. A relationship with a regular Thai person who has their own life is likely to be much more genuine and lasting than one that began through a dating agency or the internet. When striking up a relationship with a Thai remember to be respectful and patient. As a foreigner you are probably going to be better off financially than they are but that doesn’t give you the right to treat them as an inferior. If you allow the relationship to progress at a natural pace your patience will often be rewarded as these types of relationship tend to last the longest.
If you’re serious about finding a Thai wife or husband then your best bet is to get to know Thailand. Spend some time here; get to know the language and the culture. Make friends with Thai people and become a part of the community. Once you’ve established yourself here, you’ll be much more likely to find someone with whom you truly connect. If living here isn’t an option then try to make frequent trips. If you’re looking for someone to spend your life with it’s well worth it to understand where they come from.
It’s also important to bear in mind that it’s much easier to acquire a Thai partner than it is to get rid of them. Although they may appear delicate, Thai women can be fiery and are often extremely jealous. Don’t be too surprised if you break things off with a Thai girl only to find her stalking you and interrogating your friends.
Although Phuket is full of westerners with a Thai boyfriend or girlfriend the number of people in happy, genuine, long-term partnerships is lower. It takes a great deal of patience, respect and understanding to break down the cultural barrier and achieve an intimate, loving bond.
